Thursday, February 21, 2008


“Perceived” Disabled Man To File Lawsuit Against Montgomery County
Leggett Demands Hillary Step Aside

A 22 year high school football star is threatening a lawsuit against Montgomery County. Executive Ike Leggett will also be named a defendant. The suit will use the new anti-discrimination law protecting “perceived” transgendered individuals. Tank Thompson the former Churchill High School star fullback claims the county refuses to recognize his “perceived” disability. Tank who is a physical trainer and national black belt karate champion recently discovered that he has always been disabled and unable to walk.

Upon discovering his disability Tank purchased a wheelchair and quit working. “I always felt I was disabled, even when I was a young man.” Stated Tank. Tank found kind hearted doctors in San Francisco willing to amputate his legs so he can complete his transformation to disabled status. Tank is going to work for perceived disabled rights and plans to start a group called Parents and Friends of Perceived Disabled (PFPD). “I intend to get PFPD clubs into the schools as well” stated Tank.

County officials refuse to grant Tank disability status and therefore Tank is going to sue. “If a man can perceive he is a woman, surely a man can perceive he is disabled” Tank stated in a recent new conference.

Ike Leggett promised to set up a commission on “perceived” status to determine all the perceived states that would apply under the new anti-discrimination law. A small but vocal group of disabled citizens suggested that it is unfair to allow perfectly healthy individuals like Tank to declare “perceived” status. Leggett described the disabled group as intolerant and judgmental bigots. “We have whites perceiving themselves black, men perceiving themselves women, even children demanding to be parents,” said Leggett. Leggett says his commission will be able to sort this out and make recommendations. Leggett plans to increase taxes to pay for the commission which expects to meet monthly for 2 years. The commission will be comprised of mental health experts and community activists. Leggett said allowing religious groups on the commission would violate the separation of Church and state.

Leggett went further to state that he perceives himself to be Hillary Clinton and demanded that the other Hillary move aside so that he could be elected President.

Who knows what will happen next.