Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Magruder High School Students Demand Casino, Weast Says YES!

Jerry Weast agreed to allow a group of Magruder High School students space in the school to build a sparkling new casino. Several students requested the right to build a casino when they discovered they were American Indians.

The students who are of English, Chinese, Ethiopian, Irish or Mexican decent each came to a sincere conclusion that they are actually American Indians. In their childhood each of them sided with the Indians in cowboy movies and each has a compelling desire to wear war paint and go on raiding parties in local malls. One young man named “Bill” said he always liked wearing feathers and only now realized that he is indeed an American Indian and has never been the Irishman he was born as. “I know it looks strange to see a red headed Indian with freckles” he said, but he is taking hormones to change his skin tone and lose his red beard. I shave off my chest hair he said and intends to dye his red hair black with money from a special fund set up by Weast to help cross heritage students. Each of the students also found that they could not drink alcohol without getting drunk and prefer a peace pipe.

Once the students discovered each other, they formed a new tribe known as the Abercrombies. For some reason, now that a few students have come out, many more are also discovering theirtrue heritage. Some students have learned they are not even human beings. A student who learned he is a bird was injured when he tried to fly out a second floor window.

The Abercrombies have convinced Jerry Weast (who has a sincere belief he is Napoleon) that they should be given space in the high school to build a casino. It’s great to see students discover their true gender, heritage or species said Weast at the announcement of the casino.